Everyone wants to help out but most don’t know what to do. They feel bad sitting by passively. We, the immediate caregivers, shouldn’t try to do everything. More importantly, we have to help others contribute.
One way to do this is to figure out what people are good at, and feel comfortable doing, and ask them to do those things.
My brother David, for example, is a hard working guy of few words. He’s not good sitting around and “visiting.” So we ask him to drive people places, like driving our sister Susan the two hours from the Cape to the Providence airport.
Jim, our other brother, has been getting Mom’s house ready for spring, staining the deck, fixing screens, brining out some summer furniture. Susan, while up here from North Carolina, cleaned inside and out.
We asked Lew, Mom’s brother, to get the car fixed, figuring out things with the auto body shop and the insurance company. What a help to get the car back.
People really are dying to help. If the head honcho caregivers step back for a minute, you can figure out all kinds of small but helpful ways for people to pitch in. The more people are involved the more the positive juju grows all around.
