When it came time to spread the news of my mother’s illness to my co-workers and friends, I wasn’t sure what to say, and how to say it, and didn’t want the spot light on me.
I shouldn’t have been concerned. Everyone knows someone who knows someone who had cancer. You share your news and people say, “You know, Boo Boo’s mother-in-law’s next door neighbor’s cousin who had lung cancer and went to a hospital and was wicked sick so she got chemotherapy that made her bald, then died, and her daughter was wicked exhausted so be careful and make sure you take care of yourself.”
This was not easy to hear. I didn’t care about Boo Boo. Still don’t. Never will.
One person listened to me — and listened hard. Then kind words of advice followed and I think of them when I sit quietly with my mother. “Ask your mother questions. Find out as much as you can about her. Ask what her life has been like.”
Everyone’s story and experience is different. Listen. Don’t talk.
Posted by Nancy Kelly
Tags: Communications, Listening, What to say?