dyingtohelp.com

One thing that so many dying people want is to call their own shots, making decisions on the big things like whether to have surgery, do chemo or what hospice organization to sign up with, to the small things, like whether it’s a good day for visitors or if the screens should be put on the windows.

“I am in charge of me until I can’t be,” stated Bette.  End of conversation. Shades of gray not up for discussion. “I’m an adult, not some child just because I have cancer.”

If there was a soundtrack for the desire to be in control, it would be the 1990’s dance song, “The Power” by Snap!, which has become a cult-like anthem at sporting events.  Imagine if you will that the sick person has the energy to get up and dance. Now cue the music, turning the volume way up when the staccato synthesizers kick in.

I’ve got the power hey yeah heh
I’ve got the power
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah
I’ve got the power
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah
Gettin’ kinda heavy

It’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ kinda hectic
It’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ kinda hectic
It’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ kinda hectic
It’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ kinda hectic

Now keep that song in your head as situations arise where, as caregiver, you feel strongly about what should be done and the dying person disagrees with you.

I’ve got the power
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah

Or if doctors, hospice nurses and other professional help meets with the person you love and looks more at you than her, do two things. One, find a different nurse or doctor. Or, encourage the sick person to next time speak up and tell people that that they are making their own decisions.

Even more fun is to download “The Power” for a ringtone and call the phone when people are forgetting who’s in charge.

I’ve got the power
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 3rd, 2009 at 6:14 pm and is filed under Random insights, What the dying need from their posses. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.