Once you know your loved one is terminal, and you see / believe it for yourself, you begin to disconnect (at least I do).

As each day comes, your defense mechanisms kick in to help you cope. For me, and maybe I’m unique but I doubt it, it’s as if I’m killing them in my mind. The goal, is to have them pretty close to “dead” in my head when the actual moment arrives. An attempt to lessen the emotion…

And what a horrible thing to feel guilty about… wishing your loved one was dead. I did for a while, until I realized, I was actually wishing for MERCY!

Recently I had to put my dog down. Without too much back story, I’ve had pets in the past, but this was the first one I picked myself as an adult and it had a more pronounced effect on me.

I had the option to let my dog live longer, and eventually suffer until I decided to put her down, or put her down immediately.

I put her down right away.

I side stepped the wishing she would die part, which makes me feel good. We didn’t have to go through that indignity together and suffer day after day knowing our time is limited. Nor did my she (my dog) have to suffer the slow decline she was facing.

Still hurts… but an argument for euthanasia if I ever knew one.