Something happens to your brain during this journey. The brain goes from being a reliable Energizer battery to red Jello with pieces of canned pears jiggling all around.
Jello brain makes it hard to work, to plan, to read. So at night after Bette falls asleep I go to my addiction – House & Garden TV. (HGTV for short.)
Mind you, I try not to watch it every night, late into the night, and I don’t watch the HGTV program about improving a house’s curb appeal. Who cares about the outside. But the shows where people look at three different houses and choose one to buy is a favorite. (Hint: if you’re stressed for time you can tune in at ten minutes to the hour and get a summary of all three houses, and see the winner.)
This house hunting show provides entertainment when all the sisters are together. It’s the one program we all like. No debate, simply mindless communal fun.
“Look at that house. It’s so ugly,” someone shouts at the TV.
” Look at the brown cabinets in the kitchen. Brown with the rose-colored counters and a blue tiled floor.? That’s a deal killer.”
“Why would two people need a 6,300 square foot home? I mean, two people with six bathrooms? That’s ridiculous.”
“Imagine having to clean six bathrooms every week?”
“I bet they’re going to buy house #3. Who wants to bet?”
HGTV is mindless entertainment. Easier than having to concentrate on a movie or a book. Or have a conversation. The voyeuristic element where you get to see how people live and decorate is such a good distraction.
But when my sisters are gone and I watch HGTV alone, my mind wanders.
“Which house will the Johnson’s buy?” says the perky HGTV lady.
Which week will Mom die?
“Will it be the 2,600 square foot contemporary 60’s ranch?”
Will it be before Andrew’s graduation?
“Will it be the much smaller 1,800 square foot classic craftsman with the pool?”
Will she make it through summer, one last summer at the beach?
“Or will the Johnsons choose the larger townhouse close to downtown with city views?”
Or will she decide to go before Memorial Day so none of us have to change our summer plans?
During the day we’re too busy to think. At night with just the glow of the TV lighting the living room the questions pop.
There are no answers. But I’m always pretty good at guessing which house the Johnsons and all the other HGTV house hunters will choose.
Even with Jello brain.
That is my only super-power for predicting these days. All other bets are off.
