When I’ve had to have frank sit-downs with family and Bette’s friends to explain her situation, people listen as I cut through all the niceties and tell them that Bette does not have long to live. I also tell them that she’s OK with dying and needs them to be OK with it too.  She’s so thankful for the life she’s had – and for all that you’ve been in her life.

“You’re being awfully negative,” comes the reply. ” You need to have hope and be more positive.”  If this happened once, I’d overlook it. But there’s a pattern.

Why can’t people celebrate thankfulness? Why is that virtue so overlooked when it comes to dying?  What happened to the mantras, “Be thankful for what you have. Be thankful for every day.  Make a list of what you want your obituary to read so you can be thankful that you lived the life you wanted.”

When people are dying hope is overrated, and thankfulness is the goddess to worship.  How great is it when you’re dying to be able to look back on your life and say, “I am so very thankful.”  How joyful is it to hear someone you love express their thankfulness, and for your part in it?

It’s more than joyful. It’s inspiring.  And that’s far more powerful than empty hope.